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  • My Marriage – Not Seeing Eye to Eye!

    Do you and your spouse not see eye to eye anymore? Do you find yourself in the same argument over and over again? Are you in a place where the bickering has been driving you nuts?  Do you question where your relationship is actually heading?

    My Marriage – Struggling!

    Maintaining a healthy marriage takes a huge amount of work and dedication from both of you. When your marriage is struggling, there’s nothing easy about fixing it. You very well might need help. The words “I do”, said on your wedding day are now truly being tested. Your marriage deserves your best effort which means seeking out a professional therapist who can guide you in marriage counseling.

    Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, writes in an article for Psycom, about the role of a marriage therapist in these words, “My job is neither to judge or be drawn into taking sides—it’s to help each person become their best self, both independently and as part of a couple. However, not judging doesn’t mean I can’t quickly deduce signposts that foretell the future health of the relationship.”

    My Marriage – Needs Helps!

    Here are a few signs that may suggest you need marriage counseling:

    1. Communication is mostly negative.

    Communication is vital to a successful relationship. Couples should be able to open up and share their thoughts and feelings with each other. If this is not the case, and you’re unable to talk with your spouse or conversations quickly turn negative, arguments are frequent, marriage counseling should be considered. This hostile environment makes genuine communication and progress nearly impossible. A marriage therapist may be able to help both of you learn how to recover from a bad argument, develop healthy communication techniques, and pursue a mutual goal of productive conversations.

    “Your perspective is different from your partner’s. Even if you disagree, you can attempt to care about each other’s feelings. Empathy goes a long way in a relationship. The Gottman Method teaches couples how to show one another that they’re invested in the relationship. It shows people how to communicate effectively and show appreciation for the other person.” writes Sarah Fader for Betterhelp, taking a look at Gottman Therapy Method The Sound Relationship House Theory

    2. Dishonesty or secrets are prevalent.

    Trust is a vital component in a marriage. If you don’t trust your spouse or you do things behind your partner’s back, then your marriage is heading towards deep trouble. When couples start lying to one another or keeping secrets about things of significance, this can lead to other marital problems.

    “In a sexual relationship, we have a right to know our partner’s intentions and fidelity for emotional as well as medical reasons. Often, faithful partners rationalize or deny this need and their vulnerability to their emotional detriment. By not asking questions or expressing their needs, they enable and collude in deception for the same reason that the betrayer is dishonest or secretive — to not rock the boat and jeopardize the relationship.” states Darlene Lancer, a writer for Psychology Today

    A marriage counselor can guide you and your spouse on how to overcome dishonesty and reestablish honesty and respect as a foundation in the marriage.

    3. Relationship lacks sexual intimacy

    Most all couples struggle to maintain the sexual intimacy once experienced in the early years of marriage. This is totally normal; however, both of you should be able to express whether or not your physical needs are being met.

    “Even if your sex life isn’t what you want it to be, there’s always hope. You may never have the perfect sex life — to be fair, nobody does — but you can have a sex life that brings you closeness, joy, and fun.” writes Ginger Kolbaba for Focus on the Family

    Having a healthy sexual relationship is an important aspect of making a marriage work. And, if either partner is concerned about a lack of intimacy, a marriage counselor may be able to identify the root cause of the concern and help fan the flames of your relationship to get things back on track.

    Do You Need Marriage Therapy?

    After reading this, you may have realized the need to pursue marriage counseling. If so, remember, there’s no shame in working hard and seeking help to fix or improve your marriage. The therapists at New Heights Counseling are here for you. Meet our team – Here! We offer both couples counseling and couples group therapy. Contact us today at New Heights Counseling to book an appointment or call us at 850.757.1552. We look forward to helping you improve your life and your relationship.


    Learn more about Shaun and Colleen Wenner

    Shaun and Colleen are professionally equipped to navigate couples through the natural challenges of marriage. Life experience has given them firsthand wisdom and relatability to effectively lead relational dynamics in a healthy direction with a good foundation to build upon. Shaun’s background in ministry, leadership, and counseling lends pliable firmness to his ability to lead in ways that are safe when coupled with his easy-going attitude and enjoyable personality. Colleen‘s background in working with individuals and couples has proven successful in building healthy families. Her natural ability to cut to the heart of an issue is truly a gift. Together, Shaun and Colleen are a powerhouse who share a steel bond that has been forged through 27 years of marriage. They will impart the gift of wisdom that prepares for things to come and the confidence of being content to enjoy your life today! You will acquire a good mix of skills to accept the process of growing together and building a healthy, intimate marriage.

    Register for Couples Group Therapy – Here!