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  • Multiple Dates Gone Bad? 12 Tips to Recover!

    UPDATE: Colleen contributed to the article Had A Few Bad Dates? Here Are 40+ Tips On How To Recover, by Diana Indries for Better Topics.

    Recovery from multiple failed relationships can be challenging, especially if these dates go horribly wrong! The tendency is to blame yourself, yet truth be told, the reasons could be as numerous as the number of people you’ve dated. What’s essential for you is to understand that there are ways in which you can recover from dating nightmares. The following tips will help you move past them and move forward with your life.

    1. Understand Your Emotions.

    Getting caught up in emotions is easy when your dates go horribly wrong. You can experience guilt, shame, anger, frustration, fear, etc. These negative emotions are normal but must be managed, so you don’t spiral into a downward emotional cycle. Process these feelings, then let them go. Don’t dwell on them or allow them to consume you. It’s important to understand that as bad as the last few dates were, the next one could be the jackpot, and your date could turn out to be the love of your life.

    2. Learn From your mistakes.

    Take time to reflect on your previous dates. Ask yourself, “Why did these relationships fail?” Understanding this will help you better cope with future relationships. What would you do differently? Don’t take it personally or beat yourself up over something you did, did not, or cannot change. Take a hard look to see if there was anything you could have done differently. If so, learn from it and move on. Successful dates and relationships are possible, but only if you know how to avoid the same pitfalls.

    3. Get Support.

    If you’re having trouble understanding why the dates didn’t work out, seek help from a close friend, family member, or possibly a counselor specializing in relationship issues. They can help you work through any emotional problems you might be experiencing. Furthermore, they can also give you insight into what went wrong during the date and offer advice about improving next time.

    4. Take Care of Yourself. 

    You cannot expect to get over a relationship if you’re not taking care of yourself first. It would be best if you took time to give yourself enough time to heal emotionally. Make sure you eat well, exercise regularly, sleep well and keep busy so that you don’t dwell too much on the past. And when you’re ready, get back out there and start dating again.

    5. Don’t Give Up. 

    It may seem like all hope is lost when you feel like you’ve been rejected by every date you meet. But remember that there are plenty of individuals out there who are looking for love just like you. Don’t let rejection get to you. You are worthy of love and deserve to find someone special. Keep trying until you find him or her.

    6. Commit to having fun.

    Don’t take your dating experience so seriously. Look to have fun and enjoy getting to know the other person. When you remove the stress of finding “the one,” you’ll be able to relax and truly enjoy yourself.

    7. Remember to be patient.

    There is no such thing as overnight success. It takes time to build a lasting relationship. So while you may want to jump right back into dating after a failed relationship, don’t rush things. Be patient in your search for love.

    8. Stay away from negative thoughts. 

    Don’t allow negative thoughts to control how you respond on a date. If you find yourself thinking about past dates, stop and ask yourself if it’s worth dwelling on. Try using positive affirmations instead. For example: “I am going to have an amazing time tonight.” Or “Tonight is going to be one for the books!”

    9. Have an open mind.

    Be willing to accept new people and experiences. Don’t limit yourself to meeting the same type of people. Instead, broaden your horizons and expand your social circle. You will find someone who is perfect for you!

    10. Be honest.

    Honesty is vital when it comes to dating. Tell the truth about yourself and your expectations. Let the conversation flow naturally without forcing it. The right person, who is genuinely interested in you, will pick up on your honesty and engage in conversations.

    11. Give yourself time. Don’t rush things.

    Allow yourself time to think about the date before you go. Think about what you want to talk about and what activities you’d like to do together. If you’re feeling nervous, try to put yourself at ease beforehand.

    12. Remember to stay positive.

    Even though you’ve had several nightmare dates in a row, stay positive as you move forward with your search for love—positivity breeds confidence that you’ll eventually find the man or woman of your dreams. Stay focused on finding someone compatible with you and who makes you happy. If the date you went on last night was not a success, next! You will succeed in finding love! 

    Dating isn’t easy and definitely can be messy! It takes patience, persistence, and practice. However, you’ll soon reap the rewards once you put in the effort. You won’t always be haunted by the horrible memories from past dates gone bad. You will have found that special person who makes you feel happy and loved; you’ll desire to spend more time with this special person, and memories of past nightmarish dates will fade away.

    Get Support From A New Heights Mental Health Counselor

    New Heights counselors are mental health professionals specifically trained to address relationship and mental health concerns. They offer confidential counseling services to adults, teens, and children. As therapists, they can help you understand your anxiety and develop healthy coping skills. They will become part of your support team and work alongside you to improve your quality of life.

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    About the Author:

    Colleen Wenner New Heights Founder Clinical DirectorColleen Wenner is the founder and clinical director of New Heights Counseling, where she provides counseling services for individuals struggling with mental health issues. She is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. Colleen is a certified supervisor in Florida and an EMDR trauma-certified practitioner and consultant in training. Colleen is committed to providing excellent client care and services the Fort Walton Beach, CrestviewNicevilleDestin, and surrounding communities.

    Colleen has consistently advocated for mental health wellness and has dedicated her entire life to promoting awareness among the public. She has been featured on various podcasts such as Practice of the Practice (The #1 Podcast for counselors in private practice), Shrink Think Podcast, and The Salty Christan Podcastto name a few. She has also contributed to several Yahoo Best LifeUnfinished ManUpJourney, and WebMD articles. Colleen uses compassionate and authentic communication to help clients understand themselves better and feel more confident about their ability to improve their lives.