Why dating with anxiety difficult?
Dating, in general, can be difficult. But for those who suffer from anxiety, the experience of finding love can be even more daunting than it is for others. People who feel anxious and self-conscious often hesitate to approach others or engage in conversation. Their body reacts with symptoms that include but are not limited to palms sweating, stomach-churning, dizziness, lightheadedness, rapid heartbeat, and shortness of breath. And the emotional responses can be described as nervousness, fear of rejection, embarrassment, shame, guilt for not doing enough, or anger for not trying hard enough.
How can you make using dating apps less stressful if you have anxiety?
Dating apps over the years have become an integral part of our lives. We use them to help meet new people, get dates, and maintain friendships. However, there are some things we need to know before jumping into the world of dating apps. Anxiety can affect your ability to navigate through these apps. And if you are feeling anxious, you should take a step back and consider whether using the apps is right for you. It’s important to remember that dating apps are just tools. They aren’t meant to replace face-to-face interactions. Instead, they should be a supplement to meeting people in real life.
Here are three tips to reduce the anxiety which may come from using dating apps:
Use filters to narrow your search. Anxious people often feel they don’t know enough to make good decisions. When deciding, they tend to consider both options’ advantages and disadvantages. This process takes time and energy, so if they have little to spare, they might scroll through hundreds of profiles without making a choice. Filters can help you weed out profiles that don’t match your preferences. For example, you might filter by age, location, religion, ethnicity, relationship status, education level, career field, hobbies, interests, etc. Filters help reduce your profile viewing experience by showing you fewer profiles than if no filters were used.
Avoid swiping right on every profile. Anxiety can lead us to rush through this process. Take a break and slow down if you notice yourself rushing through the app. Think about what qualities you’d like in a potential date. Will the two of your personality mesh well together? Are you interested in someone who shares similar values? Do they look like a good fit physically? Is this person someone you would consider spending time with? Once you’ve answered all of these questions, you’ll be able to decide if you’d like to continue viewing their profile. Remember, hasty decisions make bad choices/outcomes.
Don’t second-guess yourself. The phrase “second guess yourself” is what anxious people often do to determine if the choice is correct. The problem is that you spend most of your time thinking about what could go wrong instead of focusing on what went right. So, when you start doubting yourself, stop and ask yourself why. What’s causing you to question yourself? It could be fear of rejection, or it could be fear of failure. Whatever it is, you need to identify and work to overcome it. Seek a mental health counselor who can help you find ways to cope with your anxiety. Going on dates can produce anxious feelings, yet on a positive spin, dating can also bring joy and happiness.
How can you make going on the first couple of dates with somebody easier if you have anxiety?
Anxiety is something we’ve all felt before at some point in our lives. But it doesn’t mean you’re destined to fail at relationships. There are many ways to ensure you don’t end up alone. Here are a few tips to help you navigate the world of dating when you feel anxious.
Take hold of your fear. The biggest thing to remember when dealing with anxiety is that it’s often rooted in fear. If you think you’ll never find someone special because you’re too shy, you might underestimate how much people love you already or would find you to be a delight around. You could be afraid of rejection, but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed to spend your life single. Push past the fear and embrace the possibility of finding love.
Practice mindfulness. Be fully present on a date, and don’t judge yourself or criticize others. This can help you become aware of your thoughts and feelings so that you can control them instead of letting them control you. Stay grounded. When you’re anxious, you tend to focus on negative things. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, focus on the positives. What about the date is it going well? Look for ways to compliment them without being overly critical. It’s okay to say nice things about their appearance, personality, or interests. Accept who the two of you are at this moment. Accepting yourself means accepting your flaws and imperfections. Don’t compare yourself to the other person.
Don’t take things personally. It is easy to feel hurt when someone doesn’t like your personality or appearance. But try not to let these feelings affect how you interact with others. Instead of taking things personally, ask questions to learn more about the other person. Ask what they do for fun, what makes them laugh, and if there is anything else you should know about them. Sometimes, just listening to another person will make them feel better.
Remember that everyone has fears. Everyone has anxieties. Everyone has moments where they feel insecure. But to overcome your fear of dating, you must realize that no one is perfect. And even though you may not always agree with another person, there will always be something you admire about them.
Don’t give up. Even if you’re anxious, there’s no reason to give up on love. Take one step forward and then another. And keep taking steps until you reach your goal. There are plenty of people out there looking for love. And even if you’re unsure whether you’re ready to start dating, you can still enjoy socializing. Go to parties, meetups, and events where you know you will make friends.
Get Support From A New Heights Mental Health Counselor
Whether it’s a good friend, family member, professional therapist, or someone else who has been through similar experiences, there is help available for addressing your anxiety regarding dating. You don’t have to face being overwhelmed with anxiety. Many resources are available to help you overcome your fears and move forward into a healthy dating relationship.
New Heights counselors are mental health professionals specifically trained to address mental health concerns. They offer confidential counseling services to adults, teens, and children. As therapists, they can help you understand your anxiety and develop healthy coping skills. They will become part of your support team and work alongside you to improve your quality of life.
Appointment Schedule (Last appointment – 4 PM)
Monday 8:00 AM – 4:00 PM
Tuesday 8:00 AM – 4:00 PM
Wednesday 8:00 AM – 4:00 PM
Thursday 8:00 AM – 4:00 PM
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- How online dating impacts people with anxiety (and how to deal with it), By Jess Joho
- Social Anxiety and Depression Linked to Dating App Usage, Study Finds, By Jo Yurcaba
- Welcome Video New Heights Counseling Founder & Clinical Director Colleen Wenner
About the Author:
Colleen Wenner is the founder and clinical director of New Heights Counseling, where she provides counseling services for individuals struggling with mental health issues. She is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Master Certified Addiction Professional. Colleen is a certified supervisor in Florida and an EMDR trauma-certified practitioner and consultant in training. Colleen is committed to providing excellent client care and services the Fort Walton Beach, Crestview, Niceville, Destin, and surrounding communities.
Colleen has consistently advocated for mental health wellness and has dedicated her entire life to promoting awareness among the public. She has been featured on various podcasts such as Practice of the Practice (The #1 Podcast for counselors in private practice), Shrink Think Podcast, and The Salty Christan Podcast, to name a few. She has also contributed to several Yahoo Best Life, Unfinished Man, UpJourney, and WebMD articles. Colleen uses compassionate and authentic communication to help clients understand themselves better and feel more confident about their ability to improve their lives.